Who's Your Favorite NFL Team?

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So I went out to dinner, and the kiLtchen was closed, as luck would have it.  I didn't take it personally.  They were simply remodelling.

I ran into a bunch of new folks from Bakersfield at Olive's.  They shared jokes, family stories, and themselves with me before they headed off to Universal City Walk.

Quite certain they will have a lovely time together, and hope to see them again.

Mazel.

Their cab was about to arrive, and minutes before they rolled out, we began to discuss football.

One of the Bakersfield guests asked out loud: "Who is your favorite team?"

Bakersfield Guy liked the Raiders.

Me: "I like the Sooners."

[Have I told you all about that yet?]

Our bartender (He's gay. And a warm and lovely person.) replied,

"I like the Packers and the Bears."

One of the classiest, tawdriest, and most layered comments I've heard in a while.

You'll get it on the way home.  If not email me and I'll 'slpain it.

[and he fully approved this post]

International Caller

So a few months ago I'm sitting at the counter at Tallyrand, with my favorite server, Benjie.

On the far left end of the counter is a young fellah.

He is talking somewhat loudly on his cell phone. Benjie and I exchange disbelieving googly-eyed looks and eye rolls at each other. Other patrons comment as well.

The young fellah says, "I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you, but I'm on an international call. They're very expensive and difficult to get."

Lineage 5 - OUr Stories

Well, look at that.

You start asking family about stories, and they begin sharing them.

Received an email from Uncle today, unsolicited and appreciated.
(reprinted with permission)

I Love the percussion. And the teamwork.

I guess sometimes it's simply better to cut your losses.

Thank you for sharing this, Sarah Jane.

I'm so glad you knocked on our patio door all those years ago on that rainy, Oklahoma day, wearing your mom's fuzzy, pink slippers.

And nothing else.

Mwah!

Decadence and Acceptance

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*sigh* It is what it is.

1.  Recently, about five weeks ago, I spilled orange juice on my laptop.  Things did not bode well. My boss suggested using that compressed air thingie to freeze my laptop keyboard as a "make due" fix so I could transfer data and what-not.

That pretty well did the trick.

So I ventured out and spent money I don't yet have and bought a MacBook Pro. It WAS on sale. Brought it home and started to relearn Mac navigation.  RRgh!

My Exciting Weekend

Greg was not with me in Burbank most of this week; he attended a bachelor party with his friends in Vegas.

Yay! Mazel, Kevin.

Greg came home three days ago and we've already had our ups and downs. Three times.

Fortunate enough to meet up with a COH from the Yahoo Group and have lunch, a long talk, and several hugs. Social media is great, but in person is superior. 

I joined my writers' group for feedback and companionship.

As I called family for stories for the Lineage series, I laughed and cried on the phone many times.

I'm seeing a new therapist. She is delightfully blunt.

Oh, and I have some findings to share from the interwebs.
(All attribution can be traced back through links. Please go visit them.)
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Jicama and Mookie

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Greg is home. Yay!

G:  "Sid, this jicama needs to go."

S:  "Kay."

G:  "No it really needs to go."

S:   "Sounds good to me."

Lineage 4 - Cross-Country Moves

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My family moved often in my teenaged-opinion. Compared to others, not so much.  But being in the oil industry, the accounting side NOT the money side, wait...

Regardless, we moved a few times.

My first move: from Montana to Nebraska. I was in-vitro. That one doesn't count.

Second from Nebraska to Oklahoma: Wasn't traumatized by it. Doesn't count.
I was six months old.

Third: We lived in Oklahoma for many years, and I have nothing but sunny memories about friends and family and schoolmates. I still remember my green Daisy bike.

First Mookie, Now Mothra!

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Two nights ago, I went out somewhere totally random and new.

I kid. I went to Olive's Bistro for food and companionship.

Afterwards, I arrived at our cute little house. I'd had the foresight to turn on the porch light before I left.

Porch lights attract moths.

Um...

Um... I was looking for something else and found this.

What a lovely song.

Too girlie for ya?

Check out My Exciting Weekend. There is some punk shiLt in there.

It's all about balance.

My Exciting Weekend

Greg was with me in Burbank this week then went away with the boys for a Vegas Bachelor Party!!!

It rained like a mutha (for Los Angeles)! Yay!

Gallery show last night at Hyaena; I bought this:

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 and this:

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Can't wait to piLck them up.

And this morning I have a fire in the fireplace. Yummy.

There are no new hoarding finds; Greg has a hard time cleaning the San Diego hoard from Burbank. Or Vegas. Oh, and I have some findings to share from the interwebs.
(All attribution can be traced back through links. Please go visit them.)
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Lineage 3 - Yes, Virginia. When it Rains it Pours.

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So, I called my father for some refreshing on our family stories.

I was reminded from where I inherited my terseness.

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1 - My grandmother was from St. Louis. She used to dance at recitals as a child.

Later, the dance studio became a strip club.

Lineage 2 - Inspired by Mrs. Wonder

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I had a friend guest post yesterday. Thanks again, Mrs. Wonder.

It got me to thinkiLn about fond family stories of my own.

Twas able to remember most of one, but felt a little fuzzy 'bout some details, and I'm not talking about my legs.

Although I could be. Should be, even.

So I reached out to my uncle for clarification:

"Do you know the story I'm trying to recall, Uncle Fred?:

Guest Post - Lineage

From one of my fellow founders of So Cal Lady Bloggers, a solicited and bullied-out-of-her, guest post.

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Since the room was full, I was seated on the floor, cross-legged, just a few feet away from my grandmother.

I Was Here

I had never heard this before.

I've lost my music. And my movies. And my reading.

But a friend played this for me last night; he said it made him think of me.

I may not be as fierce as Miss Sasha.... yet.

But with friends as supportive as the ones I've stumbled into, I'm not going anywhere.

Not anywhere bad anyways.

Thank you all for your support, Dear Readers.

I consider you all friends; and I hope you feel supported, too.

And, L, I have never been more flattered.

My Exciting Weekend

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Greg was with me in Burbank this week, and we had our ups and downs.

He surprised me with a cute seasonal wreath for our front door of multi-pastel-colored eggs to welcome in Spring. Then he told me I couldn't put it on the door because it was too early.

It's up.

I listened to this a majillion times.  I had conversations with several different people about wild parrots. And for some reason, I PUT OFF getting a manicure and pedicure, which I desperately need.

Miraculously, I remembered to adjust all my clocks which still require manual setting-forwardness ahead (3), even though I wanted to set them BACK.

I discussed having two separate slumber parties: one for So Cal Lady Bloggers and one for some local friends. Keep in mind that I have no children. Well...

These two theater productions have me all a buzz: Geeks, The Musical! and Green Day's American Idiot.

Oh, and I have some findings to share from the interwebs.
(All attribution can be traced back through links. Please go visit them.)
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Mookie Alert!

Uh-oh.

I think Mookie's here.

All I hear is yelling and cursing from the other room.

I'm going to take the doorknobs off the guest bedroom so I can hopefully get some sleep before going to work tomorrow...

Please wish me luck with that.

Sweet dreams all.

Hoard-Secret Ending?

I think the hoarding secret-keeping is ending... Very strong, empowering, and inspiring

 From the COH group, reprinted with express permission from the member:

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Welcome to the group and thanks for sharing your story!

I can relate to so much of what you say, particularly the wrestling with 'normality'.  In my experience, this does get easier over the years (I'm 49 now). 

Part of the problem is that our HPs work so hard to make sure that our emotions are suppressed it then becomes really difficult to feel anything - hence all the second-guessing about what you're supposed to feel (which I agree is totally draining!)

For me, the key was to permit myself to be OUTRAGED at having been robbed of my childhood, to wallow in sadness for what I'd lost, and to feel the hatred and disdain for my mother which had been welling up for years. These are all valid emotions.

There is absolutely no shame in not loving the parents who abused you. 

People who have had normal childhoods probably don't 'get it', and there's no need to shout it from the rooftops, but nor should it be a secret. Over the years, I've found that some of my friends have themselves suffered some kind of abuse in childhood, and I've been able to open up with them.

Hope this helps.

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Thank you for sharing, Original Poster! Very strong and brave.

Here are two phases, I believe:

1.)  Not so good.
2.)  Better?  (And yes, I am tripping out on this song right now.)

THERE IS NOT ONE RIGHT WAY AND IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

This, I know is true.

 I just keep smiling, Dear Readers, and feeling more and more! Thanks for all your help!

PotPourri

Menarche, tornadoes, gay rights, and birthdays.  - Lerve.

Timing is everything.

My deepest apologies to the tornado victims.

"What I Am" by Will.i.am

I can't quit watching this. My fave is the drum riff action and the Muppet head shakes.

I hope it helps you or your children, Dear Readers, through your day.

ThaLnk you, Matt Paxton; the irony is not lost on me.

Late. And smile. And recycle.

My Exciting Weekend

So Cal Lady Bloggers
via Jamie Gall

SO much happened this week.

I "hosted" a Hooligan's at Olive's, and Mr. Pasadena and Jim Smith made mighty fine company.  Plenty of other friends were there, too, whom I was also happy to see.

My little sis had a birthday, and my folks traveled to Nevada to be with her and her family. *sniff*

I had other weekend plans.

We had our third meetup for Southern California Lady Bloggers at a beautiful winery, Leonesse, in Temecula. Those gals may look prim, pretty and proper, but they can throw down!

via The Wine{a}be

Once the group was assembled, there were luminescent orchestrations of wine flights all over the table, capturing the sunshine and smiles.  Other patrons even applauded and asked to take photos of our table scape.

AND each of us received and wore a gift from our new sponsor.  Whitney Howard Designs is providing all our members who attend a meet-up with a special key that is inscribed “Inspire." Cute, cute, cute!

I can't stop wearing mine.

Weird thing, though: I had my first ever panic attack on my way to the winery, and my second the following morning as I left my hotel. More on that another time...

I met great people all week long, felt loved, made LOTS of personal progress, and smiled a lot.

Oh, and I have some findings to share from the interwebs. (All attribution can be traced back through links. Please go visit them.)
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And Now for Something Completely Different...

Growing up in Oklahoma, every Saturday night we sat on the green, plaid divan at green, metal, fruit-graphic-laden TV trays (Unspeakable!), my mother would grill steaks (Morton's Seasoning and Worcestershire on bacon-wrapped fillets mignon), for her and my father, and frankfurters for my sister and me, who didn't LIKE steaks just yet.

There would be baked potatoes, (I'm butter only; parents like sour cream.) Pillsbury bread products of some sort, and sauteed mushrooms with Morton's seasoning and extra garlic and butter.

I'm so Excited!

Wow. I didn't remember the "nighttime" theme in this song. Still a classic.

Ah, presexuality innnocent adolescence.

Happy Birthday, Sis!!!!!

I hope you have the most wonderful of days, that your girls make you beautiful cards or at least hug you lots, and that you enjoy your husband and our parents this weekend!

I cannot be there and it is my loss.  Love you! And I know you love me, too.

Looking forward to the next time we are together; expect at least one phone call from me today.

Cutting off Contact

From the Yahoo Group for Adult Children of Hoarders, reprinted with express permission from the member:

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Hi, everyone.

I haven't posted much since I joined but I do read the posts made here daily.

You all give such wonderful words of advice to those of us who need support when cutting ties with our HP [hoarding parent]. I am at that point and was very comfortable with that decision until today.

My mom is of the dirty, animal, no power, no heat, no AC, type no running water, etc. hoarder.

She has been diagnosed as having borderline personality disorder and is not being properly treated.

She is flat out a mess right now. Bills aren't getting paid. She showers maybe once a week when she goes to a friends' house. When she gets home from work she sits in her car for hours until she goes inside just to sleep then it's back out to the car. She keeps all of her clean clothes in the car and is at the point that she's buying new underwear because she isn't doing laundry.

Mentally she's beyond a disaster. It's painful for me to even talk to her and she wants to talk every day
She doesn't want me to even acknowledge that any of these problems are going on.

I spent my whole life taking care of my two younger siblings and the house and I can't just talk to my mom and pretend that nothing is wrong.

So I decided about three weeks ago (after a phone call with my mom screaming at me for suggesting my little sister sell some old prom dresses to get a new one for this year) that I was going to cut ties. I can't have a healthy mind set dealing with this crap. How can I care for her if she doesn't care for herself?

My mom has been calling her friend many times a day and saying how she has nothing left to live for because her kids don't love her and no one cares about her.

My sister actually told me a few months ago that she is afraid that when she goes to college about two hours away my mom will kill herself.

My mom's friend doesn't understand why I'm "abandoning' my mom and sort of put a guilt trip on me.

I think my mom's problems are too big for me and her happiness isn't my responsibility.

I'm a grown up now and i want my own happy life without that elephant in the corner. I know that my mom does not have the ability to be normal and I'm not going to wait with my fingers crossed for that to happen.

So I haven't gone to my therapist since October of last year (I've had some other issues I've been working through) This afternoon I had a borderline panic attack on my way home from work.

I am an emotional eater and all I could think about doing was eating half a dozen cheeseburgers while my heart and breathing was racing. I have NEVER felt the urge to binge like that. At one point in my life I was overweight (thank you college, lol) but I'm at a normal weight now and I know that I'm at a very low point right now.

I made an appointment with my therapist for Friday because I feel like I need help being okay with my decision to not have contact with my mother, and also how to defend my decision to others so I don't panic about it like I did today.

So COH ,I'd just like some wisdom and a pep-talk or whatever other advice you can offer me. Thank you.

****

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Dear Readers, this shit is real.

It is NOT just about the crap.

It is about mental illness and child abuse.


There is a brochure and a list of questions to ask potential at-risk children on the right under chiLken links. C'mon. We must maintain some levity.

Print it. Distribute it. Live it.